Of the events occurring through out the past 11 weeks I feel as though my open, yet secretive standing in life has become too important to be with average humans. Perhaps a vacation is needed; well I suppose not really a vacation but more of a mental-health leave from people. I believe my thinking and how soft or loud my thoughts are is effecting people's choices and lives too quickly and too much. I've always thought that no one could absolutely trash my logic and use only them selves for universal thought, and so it is just that. My being has become too much of an immense force among a few too many people, as at this moment I truly should only offer and give my reason and my thoughts to just one, or just very few people. No power or knowledge can be expressed in a sense that is intended to be like God in any way, of anything; but by night and day I listen and learning and recklessly express feelings and thoughts of universal belonging and faith; maybe my wave of expression is sweeping away that could of never wanted to be taken. But my push took them away from what force was meant to originally take them, now I'm too much of a wave and more of an ego-unupposed-cosmic force of a tsunami. I know that this tsunami must commit suicide on it's own undeflatable sphere of knowledge and return from the unheard corners of small, unimportant groups. I must step down from my acclaimed, bitchy soap box and climb down from my stage set above all common false truth. Let false truth fester more, as I watch it with scratched out eyes I self committed. Why hasn't the injection of the ends beginning happened yet? Is God going to let so many die by not giving people the cure to doubt, eternal pain and blind mindedness? A genocide of all disabled souls and hearts; it sounds so harsh and terrible. But the euphoria after it all will be like a day the rain stops coming, that all dirt and shit has been washed away and growth and life have come as the new day. At this time, I fully and respectfully over turn all my guns and bullets, I even turn in my protection. Now, I will walk with burnt tong and a vulnerable frame; so that all infectious "truth" can try and take me, too. With out any cover or weapons I'll be judged, with the words I'm giving so willing up of which cast more than a few doubts away, I'll live bare. May my flesh, my bones, my spirit and heart and mind be judged. I hope God finds me favorable for his new army of flesh-saviors, as I know I'd be a faithful and loyal warrior to my Lord of All, both Good and Evil. So, again, at this time I think it's best for my voice to be lightly covered by the blanket of false common truth so that fewer are tampered with; of course when it is necessary I will give, again, my voice and eyes to the doubted or doubtful, but only in few will I share. I guess I'm going on a unwanted break?
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