I've been flaunting, I swear I have been. With the eyes, the eyes I know forever and ever more, I have been giving them a formed notice. And once I present the eyes, I know people will ask me about the eyes- and I want to tell.
I want to tell them they are of Good eyes, and evil ones; I want to tell them I feel as though my heart is not felt and learned, but seen by the powerful glare of the all knowing watchers whom govern our world. I want to say that I can see the eyes, and they are fearful and yet sometimes frightful- afraid and yet the base of fear. Like a window, in- and out. I want to tell everyone, about just how much I know something secret.
I should be beaten.
I am flaunting, I swear I have been- and I hate it. I've just realized it too. So I must be degenerating; GOD HELP ME NOW. For I will not truly die, unless with a glass stake shoved threw my brain and eyes. ....Should I prepare the sand?
I need to be isolated.
Honestly I feel as though there should be no reason for my mouth; these days I converse with my eyes. As an example, I went down somewhere today and was looked at once and they knew who I was with out knowing my name before hand; another example is that I can demand company just with one look toward my Beloved. He comes, without one word- I beckoned. Oh damn- I BECKONED.
I need to starve.
Now, as the stupid fool I am now a days- I found with in my story that I call without words. And to me, that can only mean obsession and power; 'obsession' being my only and undying love for my beloved that I can express threw such heavy and obsessed glances. I hate pounding on emotion to such single things: a year ago "never give emotion to ticks" would of been one of my five laws of Jo. Ticks being like a clock- small and light. Then 'power' being my ability to drawn all focus, all meaning and answers, to me and only myself. This one makes me sweat bleach as an attempt to purify; as this act against the five laws of Jo is most ugly and tainted. For I am to be silent and unseen, so invisible that not one person would notice me walking in front of them. I am giving attention to myself- this is worth death.
I need to run.
GOD HELP ME GET AWAY FROM THIS WORLD OF ME! HELP ME HOLY SPIRIT.
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